Horse 1.0 (horse computer joke!)

To whom it may concern;

Recently I purchased and installed Horse 1.0.
I soon noticed that this program appears to have numerous glitches. For instance, every time my computer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. Many times I've been in the middle of writing an important document, and a window will flash telling me to run Clean Stall 2.0. This program also contained applications I did not wish to install, such as Manure 8.5, however they auto-installed with Horse 1.0.

Applications such as Vacation 2.7 and Free Time 10.1 can no longer run, crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that Horse 1.0 has attached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS Money, with folders added such as "Monthly Shoeing" and "Winter Blanket". Periodically, I'll get a reminder telling me to send a check to the manufacturer of Horse 1.0 for the aforementioned items.

I have tried to uninstall Horse 1.0 numerous times, but when I try to run the uninstall program, I get warning messages telling me that a deadly virus known as "Withdrawal" will infect my system. Please Help!!!!!





Dear User,

Your complaint is not unusual. A common misconception among users is that Horse 1.0 is a mere "utilities and entertainment program." It is not - it is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its' creator to run everything!

A warning will soon be imprinted on the box. Since you have already installed Horse 1.0, here are a few tips on how to make it run better. If you are annoyed by the applications Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1, you may run C: \HIRE HELP, however this will cause another folder to be added to financial applications, labeled "Staff". Failure to send payment to "Staff" will result in Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1 being run again on startup.

A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer for several days isn't the solution to avoiding Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. You will find that, when you boot up your computer again, a nasty virus called "Colic 4.2" will have attached itself to important documents and the only way to rid your computer of Colic 4.2 is by purchasing and installing "Vet 10.1", which we admit is extremely expensive, but crucial. Otherwise, Colic 4.2 will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Finally, it is important that you run C:\Carrots and C:\Scratch Ears on a fairly regular basis to keep the application running smoothly. If you have any more questions, please call our toll free number.

Sincerely,

Tech Support

Past thoughts revisited..."It Will Kill The Grass"

Something I wrote years ago, to tide you over until the holiday is done:

...It Will Kill The Grass...

I was standing by the kiddie pools and supplies at a store last summer, trying to decide what stuff I should buy for the pool (I needed a vacuum of some sort) when I over heard a child ask for a slip and slide. His father, obviously horrified said, "No way will I have one of those things in my yard, it will kill the grass!" The child was clearly bummed out by this response and they wandered on their way.

For some reason, I thought of this today.

I thought, what a shame. Imagine the joy and pleasure that father missed out on, and that child missed out on... all to save some grass in their yard.

I've seen it many times. Not just with slip and slides, but with many things. Often as parents we forget how short and precious childhood is. Our grown up mind forgets how important and special something as simple as a cheap piece of plastic sprayed with a hose can be for a child and how the memories made can last a life time.

When I was younger I had a friend who had the coolest mom I ever met. She was very old compared to the other moms of my friends. She was a country hick with no teeth and a lazy eye. But she knew how to have fun. I remember spending the night at their house and she would come in at midnight, drag us out to the car and we would drive the back roads looking for teenagers making out so we could shine flashlights at them and scare them. She'd tell us scary stories, let us sleep in the barn with newborn baby goats, help us build forts in the woods and drag old furniture out of the dump to decorate the fort with.

One day we were complaining because it was hot, and we wished we had a pool. She disappeared into the garage and came back with two shovels and a roll of black plastic. "Go for it, just dig in the old garden, and don;t forget to shut off the hose when you are done."

We spent hours digging, she came out to help and bring us snacks now and then. By late afternoon we had a muddy hole about 3 feet deep and 7 feet across lined with black plastic and slowly filling with ice cold water. The plastic kept the water in but didn;t keep the dirt out. By the time it was filled in with water it was also full of dirt and what we had was a mud pit.

Did she tell us to keep out of it? Did she tell us to be careful because we were making a mess? Did she tell us that was enough because all the water and tromping around was overflowing into the yard and killing the grass?

No, she jumped into our mud pit and started throwing mud at us until we jumped in and joined her.

We spent days in that mud pit. She would hook the hose to the kitchen sink and run it out through a window and when we wanted to come into the house she would hose us down with luke warm water first. She brought us old pie pans to use to make mud pies. I was about 14 but I had more fun making mud pies at 14 then I'd ever had at 6.

I will never forget the summer of the mud wallow. I swear I was still finding mud in my hair a month later.

Now we are grown, and believe it or not you can not even tell where our mud wallow was. The grass grew back, but we have memories that will last a life time.

My friend’s mother passed away a while ago. I hadn't seen her in years, but when she passed away I was overcome with grief and loss. I wish I had told her how much she meant to me, and how much joy she had brought me. Imagine how much we would have missed out on if she had just told us "No, it will kill the grass."

"Mary" Christmas

May not be around much the next several days, so here are your holiday wishes!

It's here! It's HERE!

The saga started last week. I'd made my decision to get Sparrow ready to sell in the spring so that I could finally make my dream come true and have a riding horse of my own.

Let me explain how huge this is: I have only ever wanted ONE thing with an undying passion and desire in my life... a horse. I have pined for my own horse, ached for my own horse, cried myself to sleep as a teenager for my own horse. I have had brief moments in time where i had that hearts desire in my grasp but they always always always slipped away. But now... it is a possibility. And I am intent on not only making this dream come true (which is part of what I am documenting here) but by finding a way, someway, somehow, to get my DREAM horse. My hairy little drafty pinto marked horse. I have one in mind that I am trying to get the money together for. First we have to pay back some money we owe, but that shouldn't be too tough (yay tax refund!) and then I can work toward my goal.

At any rate, with this in mind I was daydreaming about things like fat sassy hairy horses and shiny tack and I wandered onto a saddle on ebay. My favorite saddle ever was an Australian Stock Saddle. So I wanted another one. This saddle was black with light stitching, western style panels, and a strap instead of a horn. EVERYTHING I wanted and at a great price.

So, Tsu had asked earlier what I wanted for Christmas and I had said, "To get my ring fixed." My lovely ring that I designed has a chipped emerald and I would like my engagement ring and the band to be welded together plus since I lost some weight it is a little loose. But... the saddle... *ME WANT*

So I sent him a message at work and said, "Would you mind if I changed my mind and had you try to get me this instead?"

He checked it out and asked if I was sure. Of course I was sure. So the next day he bid on it, and set it up to auto bid up to a certain point. The next night he came in from hunting and said, "Someone out bid us. I got a page." Oh. *sad face*

I didn't want to get into a bidding war so I told him, "Let's just hold off and see what happens, and if there are no new bids we can try and get one in at the last minute. If not than it was never meant to be."

Every 5 minutes for two days I checked it, there were no new bids. Then, the day before the auction ended I went to check it and.... all the other bids were gone and the price was set back to the bid we had put in before and we were the high bidders!!! I have no clue what happened but I was giddy with delight. (A lot of things make me giddy with delight. I am easily giddy-fied.)

So originally the delivery date was suppoed to be friday. Of course we had the worst snow storm of the year to date on friday and our driveway was completely impassable. I was so worried about MY saddle! Tsu checked the delivery status for me and it said projected delivery had been changed to Monday because the saddle was still in Ohio. *PHEW!* Tsu plowed the drive saturday and then sunday we were gone all day only to come home and find the driveway completely drifted over. *sad face again*

Well, there was no way he could get out this morning to plow before the UPS delivery truck made it's rounds and I was so concerned that they would either not deliver OR would try to and would end up stuck. About 10:30 Nigel starts to bark. I jump up and run to the door and look out to see the UPS truck at the end of the drive! I panic! I'm jumping around the livingroom trying to find a way to get into my snow suit before they give up and leave and take my saddle with them!

I manage to get my feet into Tsu's boots since it would take too much time to get into my own, dash out the door and see: Two UPS guys walking back to the truck and a hug box on my porch. *pass out* I squealed with joy. These poor men had tromped up my almost 1/4 mile driveway with this huge box, and unknowingly made me one of the happiest girls alive, and they were too far away for me to let them know how much I truly appreciated it.

So I dragged the box into the house, hands trembling in anticipation, and opened up the box.

Angels sang a triumphant chorus. Stars twinkled. Birds joined the angels in their glorious melody. OK, maybe that is going overboard but inside I FELT like all of those things were happening.

It's beautiful, and far nicer quality that we deserve for what we paid for it. I am so happy with it that I want to cry tears of joy. Unable to resist I strapped it around my Swiss Stability Ball that I use to work out and for an hour I pretend rode my pretend horse on my REAL saddle. Now I am using it as a foot stool as I write and when I am done here I shall be pretend riding my pretend horse again.

The only thing that would make this Christmas better would be waking up Christmas morning to find my dream horse in my barn. But seriously, between my saddle and my muzzle loader this is without a doubt my best Christmas so far. Not because of the STUFF I have been given but because the things I have received have been things I have dreamed of, and wanted, and the people who love me paid enough attention to KNOW how much they would mean to me.

My heart sings.

I'm going to go pretend to ride my pretend horse again. I may be almost 40 but you are never too old to pretend.

Yesterday's chores...

Horses keep warm in the winter from the heat generated by their digestion and by the insulation of their hair coat. It seems that the tiny horses have just as much hair as the big one only it is crammed onto their smaller bodies. Mine look like Tribbles most of the winter, hehe.

So when it is very windy and cold I try to feed them several small meals throughout the day. Yesterday we were going to be gone all day so instead I spread their food over many places so they would have to graze about to get it all. This took some planning because the wind was horrid and I had to find places to put it where it wouldn't blow away.

I decided to snap a picture of the ponies munching because Mary has such stubby legs and her standing in the snow had me cracking up:



The heavy winds from yesterday have rearranged the snow into windswept low spots and twisting drifts. I did my morning chores early because the wind chill is -12f and I wanted all the critters to have something in their bellies to help keep them warm.

My new saddle is supposed to arrive today, and the roads are just awful. :-(

Tsu (my husband) plowed but the winds have drifted the drive over and our poor tractor is just over whelmed by this snow. It has turf tires on it and just can't get enough grip to move the snow well. We need chains for it.

Yesterday we were out in that awful weather. Tsu and his dad needed to go to see his uncle and they had to drive for hours round trip. Last time the had to go I went with them but this time I opted to hang out with my Mother In Law, Karen, instead. It's been a while since we had a chance to just hang out like that and we talked our throats raw, hehe.

I got a surprise gift of a .50 calibur muzzle loading rifle. I'm giddy with delight. Now I just have to learn how to load it and shoot it.


Happy holidays all! Once the holidays are over I will be filling everyone in on some of my plans for this blog, including give aways and contests, among other things!