Friday, December 26, 2008

Horse 1.0 (horse computer joke!)

To whom it may concern;

Recently I purchased and installed Horse 1.0.
I soon noticed that this program appears to have numerous glitches. For instance, every time my computer boots up, I have to run Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. Many times I've been in the middle of writing an important document, and a window will flash telling me to run Clean Stall 2.0. This program also contained applications I did not wish to install, such as Manure 8.5, however they auto-installed with Horse 1.0.

Applications such as Vacation 2.7 and Free Time 10.1 can no longer run, crashing whenever selected. Possibly the worst is that Horse 1.0 has attached itself to programs like Finance Manager and MS Money, with folders added such as "Monthly Shoeing" and "Winter Blanket". Periodically, I'll get a reminder telling me to send a check to the manufacturer of Horse 1.0 for the aforementioned items.

I have tried to uninstall Horse 1.0 numerous times, but when I try to run the uninstall program, I get warning messages telling me that a deadly virus known as "Withdrawal" will infect my system. Please Help!!!!!

Dear User,

Your complaint is not unusual. A common misconception among users is that Horse 1.0 is a mere "utilities and entertainment program." It is not - it is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its' creator to run everything!

A warning will soon be imprinted on the box. Since you have already installed Horse 1.0, here are a few tips on how to make it run better. If you are annoyed by the applications Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1, you may run C: \HIRE HELP, however this will cause another folder to be added to financial applications, labeled "Staff". Failure to send payment to "Staff" will result in Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1 being run again on startup.

A note of caution: NOT booting up your computer for several days isn't the solution to avoiding Feed 5.3 and Water 7.1. You will find that, when you boot up your computer again, a nasty virus called "Colic 4.2" will have attached itself to important documents and the only way to rid your computer of Colic 4.2 is by purchasing and installing "Vet 10.1", which we admit is extremely expensive, but crucial. Otherwise, Colic 4.2 will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Finally, it is important that you run C:\Carrots and C:\Scratch Ears on a fairly regular basis to keep the application running smoothly. If you have any more questions, please call our toll free number.


Tech Support


  1. Pony - this girl is Free and in Michigan

  2. OMG, she is CUTE CUTE CUTE! Right colour, too! (LOVE plain old bay horses) Unfortunately I can't do anything until spring when I sell Sparrow. I've been watching New Vocations, I LOVE standardbreds. If things don't work out for me to get the boy I want they are on my short list of where to look. If I can't get Brego (the horse I have been dreaming of for the last two years) I am definitely going to try and go rescue, either through a rescue group or privately like I did with my Jamie pony.

    It's both sad and comforting to know there are plenty of affordable horses out there that could meet my needs. Remember when we were kids and ANY horse would cost you an arm and a leg no matter how wild, wooly or unsound? Shame to see so many unwanted and in need of homes now. Wish I had room and money to help them all.

  3. Yah - the horse market right now is completely gone. No one can afford to feed them let alone vet 'n such. I'd love to take a rescue but I've already got two and made up my mind my next will either be a Mustang weanling adopted from or a nurse mare foal.

    Oh.. what I remember from our childhood.. running around neighing like a horse and riding anything that could resemble one!