First, those of you on FaceBook, please "Like" my farm page, http://www.facebook.com/pages/PhoenixDown-Farm/136510583125084 I post there almost daily, sometimes multiple times a day.
My friends, thank you for putting up with my lack of activity and still popping in to comment when I do post. Hopefully that will change as the new year rolls in. Several difficult situations have been resolved or are at least at a point where I don't feel obligated to keep it to myself.
In a nutshell... my husband lost his job and still isn't employed. The state came after me for child support even though Tiff had been living exclusively with me for over a year, froze my bank accounts, hauled me into court three times, started proceedings to issue a warrant for my arrest for the child support, and refused to drop it unless i proved my case by taking my ex to court. It cost us our entire nest egg we'd set aside for keeping us afloat and another chunk of cash we had to borrow from my father, and once I was able to prove my case in court they awarded me about 1/7th the actual court costs. Which means our 6 months of survival money is gone, never to be seen again, and i am in debt. But it kept me out of jail. *sigh* Then shortly after the court case was resolved I found out my 16 year old daughter is pregnant.
i think now you can probably see why I wasn't terribly chatty. On top of that I have always dealt with some level of seasonal affective disorder and without health insurance I'm handling it with lights and supplements... and to be honest with everything going on right now that's not really doing a lot for me. But as we close in on the shortest day of the year i know it's just a matter of time before the serotonin levels pick back up in my noggin and the chemical issues that bring me down start to back off.
This has really been the scariest, hardest, most heartbreaking year of my life to date. And the struggles are far from over. I've had to put some of my plans for the homestead on hold (I won't be planting a garden this upcoming year and i won't be able to start on beekeeping any time in the foreseeable future. I may also need to downsize the goat herd if things don't turn around soon). But for now we are holding on and making due.
I certainly hope and pray that the next year is better than this has been. I discovered a quote not to long ago that have been clinging to like a lifeline. It comes from an unlikely source.
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that
you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them
when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no
one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things
can fall together.”
Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. I've seen it true in my life in the past, I have to believe it is true now and in the future.
Thank you for following my blog, for those who have sent me emails and private messages giving me support without even knowing what was wrong, I love each and every one of you. Your kindness and support when you didn't even know if something WAS wrong has moved me and carried me through painful times and in ways i can't express here. There just are not words. the English language is sorely lacking at times.
I have some more interesting and upbeat things to share with you now that the news flash is done. But for now I leave you with this... one of the most beautiful sights i have ever seen in my life... My heart horse.