Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Oh yay, I got a free copy of The Watchtower.

*sigh*

I thought after the whole "inappropriate actions by my then-stud colt that scared away the Jehovah's Witnesses" thing that I had been put on some kind of "crazy people live here, stay away" list. No luck. And unfortunately Sparrow didn't come to my rescue by masturbating in front of them and scaring them away this time. *dang it!!*


I was polite to them, but annoyed because as usual and as has happened almost every day for the last two weeks SOMEONE has come a-knocking on my door and set the dogs off which wakes Tsu up. *rips hair out*

So I went in search of a "No Soliciting" sign. There are some funny ones out there, like my current favorite "No DoorSpam!" hahaha!!! But I don;t think a simple "No Soliciting" sign says everything I need it to say, so I am thinking of printing up a big long treatise on who is not allowed to knock on my door and why and posting it on the front door.

This is what I have so far (it is formatted to be centered):

NO SOLICITING
Of ANY kind!!!!

We are happy with our choice of charities, our religion, our political choices and the products we buy. We will consider any solicitation to be trespassing and will act accordingly.

DAY SLEEPER!!!
Night Shift Worker In Residence

Knocking on this door during the day is like someone knocking on your door in the middle of the night. Even if you knock quietly it causes the dogs to bark which wakes the whole house. Unless you are a personal friend, have a delivery to drop off or your hair is on fire and you need one of us to put it out please consider carefully whether or not knocking on this door is the considerate thing to do.

Thank you for not being a jerk, have a nice day!


But I have to be honest and say some of the signs and stickers I found online are a hoot. One says "Jesus doesn't leave here, please don't leave his mail." Another says "Solicitors, knock at your own risk! This household charges $20 per minute paid in advance to listen to any sales pitch, religious talk or why we should vote for your candidate. No exceptions. If you don't plan to pay DON'T KNOCK! Thank you and have a nice day!" *snicker* Or how about "WARNING: Guard dog on duty. He absolutely hates anyone selling phone service, magazine subscriptions or religion. KNOCK AT YOUR OWN RISK!"

Or how about "Solicitors will be cheerfully fed to my sharks." lol. Or my favorite next to the No DoorSpam... "Go sell crazy somewhere else, I'm stocked up."

I like the short and sweet ones but I think I will use mine and make them stand out there reading for a good 15 minutes before they leave.

8 comments:

  1. I don't even want to know what sparrow did... I can only imagine and am laughing!

    It's people like your solicitors that wonder why I don't like people!

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  2. If you understood what was at stake you would listen, have you ever thought that maybe I will listen next time, after all why would normal hard working people like yourself, give up their free time in all weather, without salary and call on people regularly? By the way one visit soon will be your last visit, as the work that we are instructed to do will be complete, why not listen the next time and ask questions, surely you could spare a few minutes.

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  3. You have a couple of options that are less expensive.

    You can ask Jehovah's Witnesses to add you to their "do not call" list.

    You could ask the nice people (and they are very nice) if they could not call between the hours of x and y because you have a night worker living in the house.

    You could choose to take pride in the fact that you live in a country who's freedom of speech has been established and is well protected by those nice people who come and knock on your door... and if you doubt that statement, look into it. It is true if you live in Canada or the USA.

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  4. I forgot to mention, all of the Watchtowers are free. All of the books, bibles, pamphlets and tracts are all free... I just didn't want you to think that it was a special promotion to get you hooked on the magazine.

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  5. Uh Oh Pony look what you've done! *shakes head* general public does not understand ones right to privacy. Ones right to not have other peoples views and religion shoved down our throats (in the name of free speech) And ones right to carry a gun - which I do.

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  6. Maybe you could put up a sign saying "No Religious Callers".

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  7. Wow... the justifiers must be searching the net for any reference to Jehovah's Witnesses to respond to. Personally, the next time someone pounds on my door to sell me their beliefs at 8am... I'm hosing them down. It's invasive, abusive and it's a bullying tactic... you won't come to our church, so we're going to come to your door.... and it's total bullshit. Freedom of speech has nothing to do with it... on a public square it's freedom of speech... on my front porch IT'S TRESPASSING.

    ~PlacidAir

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  8. "Anonymous said...

    If you understood what was at stake you would listen, have you ever thought that maybe I will listen next time, after all why would normal hard working people like yourself, give up their free time in all weather, without salary and call on people regularly? By the way one visit soon will be your last visit, as the work that we are instructed to do will be complete, why not listen the next time and ask questions, surely you could spare a few minutes."

    I'll be sure to remember that next time I'm out at 2:30am. I'll just stop by Jehovah's Witnesses houses, wake them up and start preaching. Since they surely could spare a few minutes of their time to listen to me.

    I've already given up on most of humanity, so I don't expect them to get the point I'm trying to make.

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