Things only get brighter from here on out. I made it through to the Solstice ok, just a few bad days here and there where I could feel the S.A.D. trying to crawl in. But for the most part, so far so good. I just have the actual holiday to get through and I should be home free. I even made it through the anniversary of Jamie's death without a total melt down. GO ME!!
It's been a bit of a fight, though. After having two winters with low dose Prozac I am not sure it's worth the effort to keep mentally healthy and fight the S.A.D. without meds when the meds work so well. I've done ok but it has taken a LOT of effort. Part of the reason why I went without meds was because we had a financial crisis hit right when I would have been going to the doctor for my check up, so the money that would have gone to the copays went to keeping our lights on instead (long story, lol). By the time that was resolved I decided to just give a med-less winter a try and see if I did ok compared to how I had done pre-meds.
Well, I did ok, but I don't want to have to fight this hard to keep it together. Especially not after having two years of not having to even think about it. It's EXHAUSTING. I don't want to do it again if I don't have to.