Wednesday, January 14, 2009

It hurts.

Ever want something so bad that it feels like an ache in your chest? That thinking about it makes your hands shake? That you are willing to do what ever it takes to make it happen? It's like this big empty burning hole....

I love my life. I am happy. I have a great kid (even if she DOES need to bring her grades up!) and a wonderful husband and the best dog on the planet, and an adorable pony (or two)... It's not like I absolutely NEED this to be happy but...

I've only ever wanted one thing my entire life. It has never wavered. Ask anyone who has known me since I was a kid and they will tell you that I have lived, breathed, ate, drank and slept horses from the start (figuratively, of course. Not literally. lol.)

I've had this vision in my head since the beginning. Well, close to the beginning anyway. It started with falling for Little Joe's horse, Cochise, on Bonanza.



Shortly after that my father took me to see the Budweiser Clydesdales. Somehow in my mind the two became merged... a pretty little black and white paint with big hairy feet. Then, I fell in love with a Clyde cross and for a while, it was almost as if I had my dream. He never belonged to me, but he was one of my heart horses. Trooper. He was a big old bay and white paint and I will always remember him fondly.


He is the reason I decided that white tails are over rated. Hehe.

So, here I am. I had decided late last year, with the help of my internet friends and real life friends that I would "settle". And if this doesn't work out for the horse I REALLY want I will very happily do so.... but...

I want this horse so bad it hurts.

I've been talking with his owner. LOVELY lady. Willing to bend over backwards to help me get this horse. She sent me pictures and a video yesterday. Dear heavens. I melt every time I look at his fuzzy little nose. I could just gobble him up like candy.

Rationally, he is what I want. Young, healthy, sound, sweet, friendly, small, hairy...

Irrationally... he makes me yell "squeeeee" every time I see him. I just want to hug him. I want to take him for walks around the block and spend afternoons reading a book while he grazes in the yard on a lead rope and I want to take him in the local 4th of July Parade.

Until my current two mini horses every horse I ever had was a "rescue" or "upgrade". Meaning they were in a really bad situation before I got them. In the future my horses will be rescues again. But just this once... I really want to make this happen.

So maybe I should have a bottle drive or something, lol.

Anyone interested in buying a little piece of property by Mack Lake MI? It would sell on quit claim deed, nice place to build a little cabin, surrounded by state land, close to the lake... and it just might give me enough money to buy this horse.

*wishful thinking*

I need to have a huge garage sale. As soon as the weather warms up I am going to go on a selling rampage. Wish me luck!


  1. She's not lying.. she lived, breathed, ate, horses... hell we both did! Wish I could make this happen for ya girl.... having issues keeping hay in my own barn though (bales got legs and are walk'n off).

    btw ... where is Mack Lake?

  2. You know where Mio is? It's close to that.

    I have to get hay this weekend. Not sure how THAT is going to happen though, my husband just found out he has to work this weekend, booooo.

  3. Sure do know where Mio is... haven't been that far north in the state for a long time. Sebewaing (20 miles south of caseville) is where mom is, and my gramma is in Caro. That's as far as my car goes anymore. That's a 7 hour drive as it is.

    My barn buddy and I bought 800 bales of hay.. should have been enough to get through the winter for both of our horses. I'd say a 3/4 of it is gone already and we've had no snow, actually ground didn't even freeze until last week so there's been grazing going on. Can't imagine that much is being wasted...